Bad Customer
A Practical Guide to Handling “The Customer Is Always Right”
We are in the business of hospitality.
We are not in the business of being bullied.
Most guests come in hungry, distracted, and human. They want to be welcomed, fed well, and treated with respect. We can do that all day long. Sometimes, though, a guest walks in carrying something extra: entitlement, anger, insecurity, or the belief that money, status, age, or identity gives them permission to mistreat people.
This guide exists so you never have to figure that out alone.
First: What “The Customer Is Always Right” Actually Means
That phrase has been abused into nonsense.
What it really means is:
The customer is always right about what they want.
It does not mean:
- The customer is right about facts
- The customer is right to be disrespectful
- The customer is right to break rules
- The customer is right to demean staff
We will fix mistakes.
We will apologize when we mess up.
We will comp food when appropriate.
We will not tolerate abuse.
The Golden Rule (For Staff)
Your job is to stay calm, professional, and firm.
Management’s job is to absorb escalation.
You are never expected to “win” an argument.
You are expected to:
- De-escalate
- Set boundaries
- Loop in a manager when needed
If at any point a guest makes you uncomfortable, disrespects you, or crosses a line—get support immediately. That is not failure. That is good judgment.
The Rank Pullers (Titles, Money, “I Know the Owner”)
You’ll hear:
- “I spend a lot of money here”
- “I’m a regular”
- “I know the owner”
- “I own restaurants”
What to do:
- Stay neutral
- Don’t argue
- Don’t validate the power play
Script:
“I understand. Here’s what I can do for you.”
If they push:
“This is our policy, and I’m happy to grab a manager to help further.”
Why this works:
You acknowledge without surrendering authority. Power plays die when they don’t get emotional fuel.
The Age Card (“I’m Older Than You / I’ve Been Doing This Forever”)
Age does not equal permission.
What to do:
- Stay respectful
- Avoid sarcasm
- Do not apologize for enforcing rules
Script:
“I hear you. This is how we handle it for all guests.”
If it escalates:
“Let me bring my manager over so we can take care of this properly.”
Remember:
Respect goes both ways. Experience doesn’t override standards.
The Race, Gender, or Identity Card
This is the most delicate—and the most important.
Sometimes guests express real frustration rooted in lived experience. Sometimes they weaponize identity to avoid accountability. Your job is not to judge which is which. Your job is to respond professionally and protect yourself.
What you do NOT do:
- Argue about intent
- Get defensive
- Say “I’m not racist” or “That’s not what I meant”
What you DO do:
- Acknowledge feelings
- Recenter on behavior and policy
- Get support quickly
Script:
“I want everyone to feel respected here. This is our policy, and I’m going to get a manager to help address this.”
If a guest accuses you personally:
“I’m going to step away and have a manager come over.”
That is not an admission of guilt.
That is professionalism.
The Abusive Guest (Yelling, Insults, Threats)
This is the line.
If a guest:
- Yells at you
- Uses insults or slurs
- Threatens you
- Makes sexual comments
- Refuses to calm down after being asked
You disengage immediately.
Script:
“I’m going to get a manager to help.”
Then walk away.
You do not stay.
You do not debate.
You do not “tough it out.”
We would rather lose a guest than lose a team member’s dignity or safety.
What Management Will Do (So You Know)
When you escalate appropriately, management will:
- Back you up publicly
- Handle the conversation privately
- Make decisions about comps, refusals of service, or removal
- Protect you from retaliation
You will never be punished for:
- Setting boundaries
- Asking for help
- Removing yourself from an unsafe interaction
If you feel unsupported, that is a leadership issue—not a you issue—and it should be addressed.
The Tone We Aim For
Calm.
Clear.
Unemotional.
Professional.
Not cold.
Not sarcastic.
Not apologetic for existing.
Hospitality does not mean submission.
It means control without cruelty.
One Last Thing
Most guests are good people having a bad moment. We treat them with grace.
But grace does not require self-erasure.
If someone demands respect while refusing to give it, that’s not hospitality—that’s a power grab. And we don’t play that game here.
You belong here.
Your work matters.
Your safety matters.
Your dignity matters.
When in doubt: pause, breathe, and get support.
That’s not weakness.
That’s how professionals handle the room.
Do you encounter customers that are always right? We can help!
If you are interested in private consulting, do not hesitate to hit the button below!